Wow, where did that 2 years go? I feel as if I’ve blinked and I’ve now got a two-year-old toddler on my hands.
People were right when they told me to make the most of it because time flies. Newborn snuggles feel like yesterday, while also feel like a lifetime ago. Sleepless nights are, thankfully, a thing of the past - though we still get a few wake-ups.
So, with two years of motherhood now under my belt, I wanted to share how, if at all, I’ve changed.
Two years ago: starting my parenting journey…
Naive and hopeful are the two words I’d choose to describe myself while heavily pregnant. Of course, I did the NCT courses, the meet-ups, and the antenatal stuff. But I still ended up having no clue what to do.
At the time this was terrifying and put me on shaky ground. Now, with two years of reflection, I know that it’s simply what everyone feels when they bring their brand-new baby home.
Motherhood (and fatherhood) is like a special club. You can’t understand it until you’ve had your ticket punched and you’re in the door. Pre-entry, you can muse about raising your hypothetical children and make strong arguments against certain controversial subjects.
Once you’ve got a foot in the door, it’s all change.
Newborn days were not my favourite part of parenting. I feel no shame in admitting that I struggled those first few weeks with surgery to recover from, a very hungry baby and the not knowing and uncertainty.
I felt like I wasn’t very good from day one. At the time it all felt a bit scary and as if I should know and have all the answers.
Two years later, I’m much kinder to myself. I want to go back in time and cuddle that old version of me. We can’t possibly feel anything other than overwhelmed right at the start. Of course, there’s so much love and it’s amazing but it’s also relentless, tiring and a world of change.
Hitting milestones
I am a writer in my real-life job. I read a lot because of that. When it comes to motherhood and my baby, I read a lot. Most of the time this is helpful but sometimes it can be a hindrance. There is such a thing as too much information.
Once Jack grew out of the newborn phase, I could feel myself relaxing into my new role and things happily slipped into place.
When he started smiling at me at 8 weeks, I thought to myself: “This will be fine”.
When it came to him hitting his milestones, I always turned to Emma’s Diary baby milestone guide. I knew that all babies grew and developed at their own pace but the guides were like a helpful bible each month.
From day one, Jack has been quite a happy little dude with lots of personality. I’d say he hit most of his major milestones on time in the first year.
The first day he rolled over I cried.
When he sat up for the first time on his own, I was in disbelief. He was so ready to start crawling at nine months and was very quick. He was ready to walk but needed to gather confidence to get going.
Two years on and now looking at milestones such as jumping and stringing words into a sentence, I am proud of us. We have always tried to encourage and support Jack but, like any child, if he doesn’t want to do something, there’s simply no forcing it.
Now that he’s two, I can say that he’s a confident boy who has bright sparks. He’s very chatty but also bossy. He’s a perfect mix of his parents.
The milestones aren’t a huge thing for other parents but they helped me to know how to help him grow and do our best together.
Complicated vs simple
One thing motherhood has taught me is that it’s the simple stuff that’s the best.
You could spend hours putting time into an activity you think they’ll love, and they’ll destroy it. It’s the same with meals, you could slave over the stove for hours for it to end up on the floor.
I’ve learnt that it’s always best to keep it simple. Sometimes the most fun can be had simply jumping in the puddles and tidying the toys away.
Now that Jack is a toddler, he’s quite independent and strong-minded so he can play nicely with his toys while I prep meals or get some housework done. But I love doing puzzles and reading books with him.
We don’t have to spend lots of money or do anything elaborate, because I’ve learnt that all he wants is our time. He just wants us to play with him, show him attention and be interested in what it is he has to say.
The Juggle
I’ve written a lot about the juggle.
Two years on, the juggle is still a daily, if not weekly conversation in our house.
Some days it works with all the plates spinning. On other days, we have to go back to basics and try and catch up once bedtime is done.
On the whole, I’d say that it all gets done to a good level and I’m trying to remind myself that done is good enough.
I was always told to sleep when the baby sleeps - and I did. Some people hate that advice but it worked in our house with both adults at home and just one baby.
I knew that the washing pile would eventually get done, the dishes in the sink wouldn’t be there forever and soon enough my clingy baby would play on his own. And, I was right.
My house is a mess now but it’s also full of toy cars, favourite books and drawings made by messy hands.
Me 2 years on…
So, how am I, now? I’d say that, on the whole, I am great.
I love motherhood more now than ever. Having a little person with so much character and personality, constantly following you around will always guarantee laughs.
Motherhood feels easy on some days and harder on others.
We have more good days than bad. We laugh more than we cry.
I love being Jack’s mum.
He’s a brilliant little dude and he makes most of it easy. I enjoy having little conversations and seeing him understand parts of his world. I am excited for new adventures and a summer of toddler wildness!
Rosie
